Foodie and Un-Foodie

Elrond Hubby is a Foodie.  He loves to cook, and he is an amazing chef!  I’ll post some of his recipes soon.  And he appreciates eating good things and finding new ways to eat and make things, too. I guess that’s the definition of a foodie, right?

Since this is all about me, though, haha, I must say that I am an UNFoodie.  Yes, I love good food and I delight in finding and tasting all sorts of wonderful concoctions, but when it comes to cooking, I take, hmm, let’s call it a functional and creative  approach.  Some might say lazy, but who listens to them?

Here’s an example of something that I did this weekend that has happened about 1000 times before.

I was reading through the WordPress Reader feed and came upon a post that had the Bloglovin badge/link, followed it to see what it is, and after a few more clicks, happened upon this lovely recipe for 60 calorie pumpkin bars with vanilla bean cream cheese frosting.  I loooooove autumn recipes, including anything baked with pumpkin, and the temps where I live have finally dropped below 75 at night (I f*cking hate summer heat), so it seemed like the right time to break out the baking pan and try something new.

Here’s where the UnFoodie comes out.  The ingredients for this recipe are:

“Ingredients For Pumpkin Bar Batter *1 1/2 Cups 100% Whole Grain Unbleached Wheat Flour, *1/2 Cup Almond Flour, *1 Tbsp Ground Cinnamon, *1/2 Tsp. Freshly Grated Nutmeg, *1 Tsp Baking Powder, *1 Tsp Baking Soda, *1/2 Cup Unsweetened Applesauce, *4 Large Eggs *1 Tsp Olive Oil, *2 Cups Pumpkin Puree, *3 Tbsps. Brown Sugar *1 Tsp Vanilla Bean Paste, *1/8 Cup Agave. and *Baking Stevia or Truvia to Taste.

Ingredients For Vanilla Bean Cream Cheese Frosting *2 Tbsp Almond Flour, *Baking Stevia or Truvia to Taste, *1 Tsp Vanilla Bean Paste, *5 Oz Cup Vanilla Greek Yogurt, 3/4 Cups Plain Cream Cheese(1/3 less fat) , *1 Tsp Unsweetened Almond Milk, *2 Tbsp. Agave, *1 Tbsp Brown Sugar.”

Sounds YUMMY.  “Yeah, I don’t have some of the key ingredients, but whatever, I’ll make do,” I think.  Because I want these pumpkin bars.  Because the likelihood of finding any or all of the special ingredients (almond flour, unsweetened applesauce, agave nectar, vanilla bean paste, stevia, and unsweetened almond milk) at my nearest grocery store is about ZILCH out of 100.  Because I don’t want to drive an hour or more to pick up those ingredients just to have something sweet to eat for breakfast!

SO, I make do.  Whole grain unbleached wheat flour and almond flour?  Ah, regular flour will do.  Oh, and I have some semolina flour left over from something I cooked 3 years ago, so I’ll mix that in, and it’ll be healthier and will not taste like just plain white flour (right).  Freshly grated nutmeg?  Nope, just some from a jar.  That’s normal, right?  Unsweetened applesauce?  I think this was pure genius:  I grated up two granny smith apples.  Perfect!  Vanilla bean paste?  Nah, just vanilla extract (pure, though, not imitation, I mean I do have SOME standards).  Agave?  Honey.  That’s fine, right?  Stevia?  2 packets of Splenda.  Cooking with gas!  Well, electric, which sucks, but it’s what we have, so whatever.

OK, put all that together, baked it, came out looking yummy.  No pics, sorry.  How UnFoodie of me.  Ummm, it didn’t taste WONDERFUL.  But not horrible, either.  Needed some more sweetness.  First, I tried adding powdered sugar on top, which I often do to cakes, to avoid all the calories of frosting/icing.  (Is there a difference between frosting and icing?  Is it just a regional difference in the word?  Which one do you use?)  The powdered sugar added something good, but it still lacked the creaminess and tartness of frosting/icing to make it all come together.  OK, go back to the recipe.  What did it call for?  Oops, more of what I don’t have.  I do have greek yogurt in abundance.  Google substitution for cream cheese.  Turns out that regular yogurt, strained overnight in cheesecloth will work.  Not gonna happen in my house.  I can just see Elrond Hubby opening the fridge and saying, “What is THAT?”  “What?” I innocently would respond.  “That THING wrapped in your bandanna that is leaking down the sides of the tupperware into the fruit drawer!”  “Oh, is it leaking?  Sorrrrrryyyyy!”  So you see why that’s a bad idea.  Because I do not MAKE.  I make DO.

So, I had greek yogurt and powdered sugar on top of my pumpkin bars.  Not bad, in my book!

THIS morning, however, I had my usual “special” breakfast, bread with chocolate chips and peanut butter on it (I’m out of pita bread).  About an hour later, I had some of the pumpkin bars, as yesterday, but there was some peanut butter still stuck to my plate, and that tasted GOOD with the pumpkin bars.  SOOOO, brainchild:  pumpkin bar heated in the microwave, with chocolate chips melted onto the top, and then smeared with peanut butter.  With a dollop of greek yogurt on top.  VERY NICE.

Elrond Hubby:  “If I ate that, I would fart pumpkin for a week!”

Foodie and UnFoodie.


This Sh*t Is Addicting (Unfoodie)

I seem to have lost my mind. For the last month or so, I’ve been eating something utterly addicting for breakfast. When it comes to cooking, I either follow a recipe (which usually turns out ok), or I make up sh*t (hit or miss).  Usually, the latter occurs because I am too lazy to go to the store, and/or I *think* I have enough ingredients to substitute in, so I give it a go. One thing I absolutely love is pain au chocolat (that French pastry that is like a croissant with a sliver of chocolate inside).  Yes, YUM!  But I haven’t found a bakery where I live these days that makes them.  So, I make do. There are several variations of my latest unfoodie creation, but I’ll just tell one, since I’m going to be late for work.  Again. Buy pita (pocket) bread and dark chocolate chips (I like Ghirardelli) and peanut butter (I like all the natural kind–just peanuts and salt–pour off a little of the oil on the top, stir, wonderful). Slice a pita in half, so you have two semi-circles.  Toast it.  Have the chocolate chips ready. When the pita comes out of the toaster, use a butter knife to pry open the pocket part.  Don’t use your fingers, unless you like getting steam burns. Immediately put some chocolate chips into the steaming pocket.  Repeat with the second half. The steam will start to melt the chocolate.  YUM. Take about a Tbsp of peanut butter (or less, for less fat) and smear it into each pocket.  You will notice that the chocolate is kind of melted and the peanut butter and chocolate mix together.  YUM. Enjoy.  This sh*t is addicting.  You have been warned!  Pics to follow another time, since I’m running late.